Within the
pages of 125-195, Lauren’s life changes completely, more than her life had ever
changed before. Lauren had known for a
long time that change was happening with the community, and she knew that there
would be a day to come when their walls would no longer protect them. However, the change did not occur gradually
as she had hoped, and it came all too quickly and unexpectedly.
The first to change was losing a
family of the community, but not from death, instead from Olivar. Lauren did not trust the Olivar living
conditions and I believe that she saw the Garfield’s leaving to go there as a
kind of accepting defeat. Her lost best
friend, Joanne, whom she had somewhat lost respect for since Joanne told her mother
what Lauren had told Joanne in confidence, was no longer going to be within
reach. That was only the first step of
change, and not nearly as drastic or crushing as the next.
The next was that Lauren’s father
never returned home from work. After
searching and searching, even getting the police involved, his body was never
found. In a way, to Lauren, no body was
worse than having a body. At least when
they had found Keith’s body, they knew he was out of his misery and no longer
dealing with the pain of the outside world.
Yet, with no body, her father could still be alive somewhere out there,
being tortured. Everyone had assumed he
was dead, and I think Lauren was hoping he was, instead of the
alternative.
The next change I consider to be
extremely meaningful, just not as dramatic.
Lauren finally admits, out loud and to Curtis that she wants to marry
him. This is a revelation because for so
long Lauren had considered herself to be on her own, so that was how she
planned to leave; alone. Yet, Curtis
conveyed to Lauren exactly what she herself had thought and been feeling. For the first time, I think Lauren considered
staying a little longer, and considered herself as no longer lonesome. She agreed to him, to stay until her family
was on their feet, marry him and then leave with him. For the first time, I believe she felt hope that she could not
only survive outside the walls, but really be happy with Curtis.
Then disaster strikes, she awakens
with smoke in her lungs and screaming ringing in her ears. Everything she had possibly imagined and
worse was happening, her worst nightmare come to life. The wall had lost its use, people had driven
a truck through the gate. People with
painted faces were rushing in, burning things, raping and killing people, and destroying everything
they could. Lauren grabbed her pack and
ran, watching around her as people she knew her entire life, were
killed. For so long she had been
expecting this exact event to occur, she just didn’t know when or how. Now, in this moment, was when, and this was
how. She had to accept the fact that it
was all crumbling down and coming apart.
She lost Cory and the boys, so she ran on her own and found shelter. She slept, awoke, and returned to the charred
remains of what used to be her neighborhood.
Barely standing houses, and bodies everywhere. She did what she had to, took what she could
and left. A while later she came across
Harry Balter and Zahra Moss, she was just relieved to see that anyone had
survived. Finding others and talking to
them, staying with them, gave her hope.
It amazed me that through all of
this, she could still find the courage to even muster the feeling of hope. I know I would lose all senses if this had
happened to me. Lauren isn’t just brave,
she’s strong and mighty. She fights
through everything and everyone telling her that she can’t, and tells herself
that she can. She never lets herself
doubt the fact that God is change, just like it says in her Earthseed book. How she can keep moving, thinking rationally
and doing what she needs to, to survive, astonishes me more than anything in
this novel. This book is meant to
inspire and let everyone know that no matter what happens, no matter what you
are told, God is change, and knowing that everything is constantly changing, is hope.
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